My friend John Stumbo has written a wonderful book entitled An Honest Look at a Mysterious Journey. You can purchase it here. It is a must read for anyone experiencing pain and confusion over the ways of God.
Here is a great quote (pp.120-121) from John on why he continued to attend church even when, because of pain and confusion in his life, he did not feel the desire to do so.
“Looking back over the last few months, I realize that by attending church …
…I think thoughts I would not otherwise think
… I hear truths I would not otherwise hear
… I sing songs I would not otherwise sing
… I meet people I would not otherwise meet
… I give offerings I may not otherwise give
… I rejoice in missions’ efforts and in new followers of Jesus that I would not otherwise know about
… I receive encouragement and challenge I would not otherwise receive
… I she tears I would not have otherwise shed
… I receive a blessing I would not otherwise have received
… I pray prayers I would not otherwise have thought to pray
… I meet God in a way that I would not have met Him had I stayed home in my chair
… And, perhaps, my attendance is an encouragement or testimony to someone else.”